Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Randomize
