Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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