hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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