The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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