It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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