Sry I called you an 8
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
