it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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