Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
