she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
