I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I AM VODKA MAN
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
