At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
