I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
