i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
that is very illegal...i love you.
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