READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
