O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize