were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
