y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
