I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
