I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
