so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
