So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
