almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You are the jesus of drinking
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
