He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
