If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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