oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
