I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
