i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize