Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
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His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
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Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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