I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
