I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
