You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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