the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
