mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
