Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
