ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
