You made me cry and you don't even care
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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