We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
