she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
