I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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