either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
