I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
only you would photoshop your dick
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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