yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
