I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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