I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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