The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize