Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
