so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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