and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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