Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
