What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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