I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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