glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
