I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
