Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
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you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
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I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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