u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
