fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I'm eating all of the evidence.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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