So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
