Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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