why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
