i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
