very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
she smelled like a LAN party
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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