so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize