its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
