i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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